Abstract
WASHINGTON, D.C.-Well, birdhearts, welcome back! The snow has melted and Washington is bursting with cherry blossoms! The '82 Convention Committee has filed a request with the National Park Service to keep the dainty little things around until August, bur, really, in this bureaucracy, it probably won't even be processed until Labor Day. No matter, darlings, Beak swooped in and grabbed another page of the magic list of speakers! Surprises, birdheans, wonderful surprises!
You remember that television show, "Wild Kingdom?" Well, darlings, while Marlin Perkins was wrestling around with those sissy aligators and that tackey chimpanzee was answering the phone all the time, Beak's heart was fluttering over the other star of the show. And guess who's coming to the Convention? JIM FOWLER! That's right, birdheans,JIM FOWLER is going to take time off from the Johnny Carson show to have lunch with us! He's a specialist in Rap tors, you know, and the rumor here in D. C. is that space is being reserved underneath the tables since free-flying falcons, eagles, and hawks can be expected. The most exciting part, we understand, is when the four foot tall Harpy Eagle snatches DICK BAER's cute little checkered hat and flies up on MARGUERITE AGRELLA's shoulder to eat it. Beak trembles with excitement.
FLASH, birdhearts, FLASH! Big News.
AFA has arranged with that lovely woman from American Express, MS. BOBBY
BOLGER, for special discount air fares to the convention! That's right, birdhearts, special air fares from most places in the U.S. All you have to do is call (214) 363-0214 or (214) 363-7158 and ask for BOBBY BOLGER. She'll take it from there. And remember, darlings, you heard ii first from Ms. Beak! BILLHARDINGHAM, of course, and other bargain hunters from Baltimore are not eligible. With the possible exception of MARY MILLER, that is.
Now, if KEVIN WIRICK will just stop giggling in Denver, we can get on with the speakers list.
First of all we are going to have a briefing on this whole flap over the California Condor breeding project by DR. RANDY PERRY, Leader of Endangered Species Field Operations for the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service.
Then, all you addicts of American Cage Bird magazine are in for a treat. Author and Editor of ACBM, ARTHUR FREUD, will be speaking on Parrot Identification and Behavior! Beak hopes that that sly devil SHELDON DINGLE doesn't turn purple with professional jealousy. Just in case, darlings, we understand that a special isolation booth will be set up during MR. FREUD's lecture so that SHELDON can distract himself with that new video game, "Pac Man Bites Big Bird." And his opponent? Really, perchpeople! Why, JANICE PRITCHARD, of course! Only she thinks its going to be "Big Bird Bites Pac Man." This one will make the Love Bird debate look like a pillow fight on the Potomac! Bring extra quarters.
And speaking of debates, wingwatchers, BONNIE WILLIAMS will be leading a knock-down, drag-out on Canaries! Colors, standards, judging techniques, and who knows what else will be battered around. MARGIE MCGEE, who will also be speaking on Canaries, will help BONNIE referee as the Big Guys from New Jersey meet up with the Heavies from Miami, the Know-It-Ails from the Midwest, and the Can't-Be-Wrongs from California. Beak is frilled.
To balance all this out with a lirte class, darlings, we are fortunate to have next year's National Cage Bird Show Manager, PAT DEMKO, speaking on that wonderful little bird we all love, but can't breed, the Black Hooded Red Siskin! An Endangered species, you know.
Just the mention of Endangered .Species. birdheans, recalls all our dreams of reintroducing the little devils to the
wild. Speaking on that subject we have two men who are world famous, darlings, for their experience in reintroducing bird species to their natural habitats, DR. JIM CARPENTER and DR. SCOTT DERRICKSON of the Patuxerit Wildlife Research Center! Any of you aviary addicts who want to see where your tax dollars are being well spent won't want to miss this one!
Under the heading of "GAUDY," birdhearts, this year's Convention will pay special tribute to the Loriesl You must admit, darlings, that the colors of these beasts are so intense they nearly burn out the retinas of your eyes if you aren't careful. Beak notes they can also do some other things to you if you aren't careful. Prominent Lory expert, DR. RAY JEROME, will be flying in from Texas to speak on how to protect yourself and get hooked at the same time on this group of little rainbows. And, for the first time on the AFA stage, out of the great rain forest of the Northwest, will come one of the largest breeders oflories in the world.JOE LONGO. Frankly, birdhearrs, slogging through the miserable cold rain after the Seattle meeting just to see another bird is not exactly Beak's idea of heaven. The LONGO's spectacular aviaries, however, with the rare, the majestic, and the brilliant lories made Beak forget about her soggy feather boa and immediately run out and buy three new Blenders and a pair of sun glasses. Beak may have to replace those Argus Pheasants in her apartment with Lorikeets! The country is stzll buzzing over that visit. Beak awards the coveted Golden Rona Parrot A ward for Hospitality to MARGE and JOE· LONGO!
Oh, there is so much more, birdheartsl Softbills, Pigeons, Veterinarians, Conures, Importing, Nutrition, Finches, Cockatiels, Legal Problems with birds! I' II report on those next time, but really, darlings, you must know about some more of the luminaries, Luminaries, birdhearts, who will be here. DON MARONCELLI, who lost his contract for singing with LOLITA in San Diego, will be coming from the New York night club circuit via
Kearney, Nebraska to auction some of PAUL GREENHECK's work and other feathered surprises at the Saturday night banquet. Our old friend, DA VE GOODMAN of USDA will be on hand, darlings, to discuss complete Avicultural Techniques in Plexiglass Cubes. We hope KEITH HAND and BILL BUISCH will stop by to check up on him. Don't believe everything you read, guys. Beak still loves you. We hear that MARK RUNNALS, King of the Yellow Turquosines, has moved to Florida, but TOM IRELAND is going to loan him that special chair MICKEY OLLSON gave him at the Seattle meeting, so MARK can roll into Washington in style. The green pants and pink shirt can be shipped directly to the hotel.
Lookouts will be posted for that Prince of the Waterfowl, MR. GEORGE ALLEN and his sons. Beak and everyone else is just dying to meet you, GEORGE. Don't you think eight years is long enough? Beak is anxious.
More surprises, wing-watchers! Like the Cowboy Look-Alike Contest to be held at the Saturday cocktail hour. So far the contestants are DICK MATTICE, HAROLD BOWLES, and HAROLD HANSON. CLIFF WITT tried to enter, but was disqualified. So was NANCY POLLORENO. Get this, darlings, you may finally get a chance to meet that delightful RON DEVOLDER. He'll be the one with the turkey baster and the ten aquariums full of baby birds standing in the middle of the DuPont Circle. Now, you can't have a convention without NELLIE HERRY, darlings. Beak has learned that she's supposed to be looking for cockatiels, but after her conquest in Kansas City, what she really is going for is the Auctioneer! Good Heavens! PAUL WILLIAMS sold her a bag of Petamine for $95 and a lot of promises. Beak can't imagine what might happen with DON MARONCELLI! Relax, birdhearts. I'm sure our dear friend, CHARLOTTE LEDOUX, will call for the question if things get out of hand.
The secret is out, darlings. Yes, for months now, we've all been wondering how JIM OFFMAN has been able to sell so many AFA memberships everywhere he goes. Finally, birdhearts, we saw a fullblown demonstration of JIM' s high pressure technique in Seattle. The convention committee wants JIM to do it all again for a workshop in Washington, but, frankly, they' re having trouble finding another bar maid who will cooperate. Hang in there JIM!